this is really my life

so i have decided to post the full unedited convoe between me and the child i somewhat dated that is still in love with me i will call him child and i will play myself:

child:
i just got another speeding ticket i think im gonna go cry myself to sleep.

me:
well you obviously dont learn. sorry to hear that.

child:
thanks ur words are so nice and sincere ... and i will be going home to cry

me:
anytime

child:
good thing u broke off whatever we had cause i definitly would've killed you.

me:
yeah im semi emotionally retarded and your way to young to handle that

child:
naw its not that u just dont care about anyone but ur self i like to be generally happy and u know ...nice

me:
well im sorry if im a little bit more realistic about the world if you speed you get tickets if you drive like an idiot you get into accidents. shit happens

child:
yeah i know but all u do is put everyone down but ur self...there's a difference between being real u act like you dont care about emotions and think ur perfect and dont make mistakes ... u have no humanity in you u should be an assasin u would be a perfect stone cold killer...i feel sad for you ...ull be alone ur whole life unless u change... lemme ask you and i hope it sticks in ur mind... i may be young .. but would you date you?

me:
i would because i love me i have been through more and have so many people that i know love me that your words dont matter and i know i make mistakes but i get over it. i mean seriously it was your fault own it and i know i am an asshole and i said that from the get go so its cool. ps i have a date tonight so i guess someone has found something postive in me

child:
yeah ur right(duh) u have plusses but the negatives out weigh it...shit i still have a crush on you...i just wish you had more compassion for others

me:
i have plenty of compassion. but give me a reason to be compassionate. a speeding ticket wont get much from me. i am hardened by the world but im ok with that.

child:
alright bro... well i hope you find what you want in life and ill continue my search in life for what i want...

FUCKING KIDS THESE DAYS LOL

i like girls that like boys that like boys

this is just a little post that i writing to express my love for my lovah. she is always there through all the messes and she makes sure to prioritize and keep me as her homo numero uno even with the sassafras hot on her heels she keeps me on a pedestal. she listens when im sad and laughes at all my fantastic jokes.
i love everything about her from her slight insanity and her passion for jazzy pumps. i love her undying support for lezlo and our gchat convos she makes me feel like im not alone in this big big world. i love my lovah and that is that.

THE BITCH IS BACK

hello ladies and gentlemen, the hoe with the most is back. no i know i have been gone for a hot minute but i am here so dont fret my pets. we will spill tea and talk about everything from valentines day, pirana baby, losing my job, and st paddys day.

ok girls heres the dish. valentines day .. sucked i was without a valentine i saw the drug child out drinking like a fish just 3 days from the emergency room and one of my nearest and dearest had a meltdown over a lame boy whom i nearly despise because he is a creep. but the saving grace was seeing my love... jonathan. he was looking very cute like usual and he was fun flirty and fantastic three things that bring this boy to the yard. so i am looking forward to next year when i have a valentine of my own hopefully in another city or state or country i need out. lol

ok so i am 90% sure the date was february 28th when we were all blessed by the arrival of maeson olivia the bouncing baby girl that my close friend michelle had. she is the cutest little thing i have ever seen and i have seen a lot. she is very tiny and precious when she wants to be but i can tell she will be a diva... she will rip you to shreads if you refuse to give her the tit. that is how she earned her nickname of pirana baby. now being a man i cannot say that i would never do that cause it is not an option but being a gay man i know it hurts like hell if someone bites your nipple fyi so god bless breast feeding mothers. but for now the pirana baby eats sleeps poops and cries you will here more when she is more will friendly aka less breakable. and i cant wait to show her how to walk in heels lol.

ok so you know when something bad is coming up and you don't realize how bad its gonna be that is what losing your job feels like. especially if your liquidating it is a slow aganizingly painfull experience and i will it only on my worst enemies. so anyways im out of work i dont want to talk about it anymore. if you know of work opportunities even out of state or know a wealthy person looking for a houseboy let a bitch know. being jobless is craziness.

ok so here we come to the st.paddys day i decided one day wasnt enough for getting shitty so i did irishfest and st. paddys in downtown west palm. so saturday comes i have papa dukes drop me off around 2pm my friends are walking to meet me so i figure i need a beer while i wait, then i thought why one when i can have two. so i walk into the bookstore where they sell individual beers and get two of something i have never had it was good not great i walk out and here comes michelle, scott, pirana baby, and the dike aka T( she is my favorite lesbian companion) perfection. so i pour my beer into the provided solo cup and we walk to the fest about 2 hours later i have had 6 more beers and i bought a new shirt and pirana had a feeding frenzy so we walk with michelles parents to the main strip of downtown to show them the sites. we stop to change the baby i grab another beer and then it was me and the lesbo. we then went to my FAVORITE bar in west palm beach osheas. we had lunch and i had 2 more beers and we walked back to the fest where i had two more beers nothing much happened throughout this time so we parted ways . i got dropped off at home and 15 mins later anais picks me up to go to a house party we pick up beer and go to her lame bf's house i drink i think about 8 more beers we walk to the store and i buy more beer and have about 4 or 5 more. we are starving at this time and we went to get pizza at pizza lune best drunk pizza spot in wpb . all the douches were there from the surrounding bars and clubs with there drunk bitchy girls but we wait we eat and we go to get mike at osheas. we get to osheas mike has a full drink so we grab a beer we go out to the patio to people watch and i see a delicious man in the corner make a comment or ten i was pretty shitty to anais and lame ass bf spouts up saying that i need to be quiet cause theres no chance i could be with him anywho, in my head its gameover i chug the rest of my drink and walk away without saying a word and walk out the door and into a cab GOOD DAY. if i am somewhere i dont wanna be or around people i dont wanna be around im out i faked nice for like two days...never again.

ok so the real st. paddys day has to be better right ... kinda. my lovah and sally nearly die(a little dramatic) and i dont have a ride to the beer pong tournament i am playing with T. thank god michelle is an awesome friend she takes me to downtown and drops me off ...she was coming but it looked like rain and the pirana may make a run for it lol. so tournament supposed to start at 2pm i didnt through a ball till 330pm so i had time to pregame and that is what i did. so we make it to the third round and got beat by two dbags but it was a lot of fun anyways. then we walk to osheas and i have a carbomb and a shot and go to the publix and buy beer cause i ran out of cash and i wasnt leaving my card at an irish bar on st paddys. so we are sitting on a curb and drinking our beer that we bought at the grocery and that is basically the last thing i remember ... until jamie showed up but more about that later. the kicker is that our team name was rainbows are gay and so are we.......terrible lol love you bitches

goodbye to the drug child

so tonight was as interesting as they get ... not. so i was hanging out at home and i get a call from a friend whom we will call the drug child for all intensive purposes. he is a lot of fun he is cute and he is a "social butterfly". he is also a hot mess a hotter mess than i could ever hope to be. i put myself out there emotionally and to a certain extend financially to no avail. so anyway back to the story i get to the club and the candy man meets me outside telling me drug child collapsed on the floor and passed out... shocking .... not. so i go in and everyone else proceeds to tell me much of the same. my response is that he is not my responsibility and i want nothing to do with it. so i have a drink and i decided to check on him passed out on the couch but still breathing so i said no biggie and continued my night. tp lords was there all was right in the world then it happened drug child arose seemingly from the grave by the looks of it and is freaking out a minimal freak out but just the same i call his friend we will call cha cha and she tells me to bring him to her house and when i do she starts to freak out and calls an ambulance. fun. so she keeps asking me what happened and i keep telling her i dunno the cops come i tell them what i know and they leave. so who goes out of there way to go to the hospital ....me. cha cha then tells me she thought i beat him up because last time she saw us we were in a heated discussion. lame. so fast forward so i am waiting for a good 20mins finally they let me go see him he is embarassed and covers his face and tells me he thinks he g'ed out i dunno what that means but i am gonna assume drugs. so i tell him everything about the night and how cha cha thought i hit him he started to laugh and told the murse aka male nurse that i beat him up while laughing the whole time they took him to get xrays and i left. seriously people drugs are dumb i did them before there fun at the time but you should really love yourself in an all natural state. hugs not drugs remember kids.

thank you for being a friend..

so i was just thinking about how my ultimate fantasy would be to be the fifth roomate on the golden girls. think about it you get to live with some wild chicks in a nice house in miami. i would take blanche out to cruz the gay bars and then sophia and i would terrorize the shuffle board players. the only thing is i think dorothy and i would have a few rounds cause she was kinda cunty... so anywho last night was good i went and saw he's just not that into you and talk a bout an eye opener it honestly felt like i got hit in the head with a rubber chicken. but i went with one of my oldest friends amy k who was in town for the weekend and we bumped into some girl we went to high school with and she was like this is my husband whats going on with you guys...... nosey bitch i looked at her and said we're just watching a movie. so then i met up with some of the kids downtown to take in some of the gay nightlife after a good 35-40 mins i bounced and took myself out for a drink because it was scotts bday. scott is the love interest of my favorite bartender in the whole world joey. so we are there hanging out and i assaulted scott with a confetti bomb(accident) and bouncing around telling everyone that the current song was my FAVORITE song. then out of nowhere drag queens started to pop out from all the shadows i look around i felt like i was at the taping of drag wars. that is a show on the logo network that rupaul host and one of the local girls is doing (go rebecca glasscock) and of coarse the usual suspects were there.the one the only velvet lenore and here drag daughter rihanna, valarie dior and her friend i think here name is noel but she is sweet anyway and maxine from the infamous massengil sisters. it was fun celebrating but i was ready to go. i get in the car and what do you know ring ring...i pick up and there is a 21 year old straight boy on the other end tisk tisk. he wanted me to come over but i refused just to prove my point that if you give sex all you will ever get is sex and this bitch is tired and i need more.... good day im exhausted

karma may be a bitch but im a DIVA

hello people.... so friday night i went out (duh) in fort lauderdale. i told papa to meet me there. papa is the 48 year old man i dated for like 3 weeks till i hooked up with his friend (shamless) named m for our purposes. so i met papa out and i was talking to this guy online from orlando and he was in ftl for the weekend so i told him to go to the bar i was going to . so he does and he was as cute as i thought he was gonna be and then .... papa started to hit on him and thus made me uncomfortable. so i text m and tell him and i say karma is a bitch eh.. lol. so that is that but i did get o see the man of my dreams and i got his number so i was super pumped about that. also i talked to famous gay porn star matthew rush (wikipedia it now bitch) so then i came back to wpb and went to dolche to see my favorite bartender ever joey and i got a call and it was none less than the fraternity guy from fsu. so we hooked up and i went home. but on my way home i tried the new taco bell platters and they were awesome...lol tell your friends ok i will write about tonight tomorrow cause this bitch is tired

i didnt forget

ok peeps im off to the movies to see hes not that into you so i will have to write about last nights events later but let me say oh la la lol .....but dont worry i will take notes during the movie to aide in my personal growth

faggots talk shit but i really dont care...

hello beutiful people i am here to let everyone know that if you have something to say to me or think i said something than be a fucking man and come talk to me.

so here is the sitch i went out like 2 weeks ago and was forced into an uncomfortable conversation with a former friend and than what i said was twisted up and used again. if you have issues in your relationship(if thats what you wanna call it) than handle that with your man and dont ask my opinion. if i think your stupid than i will tell you that but dont run and tell someone something or end things because of my opinion do it for yourself and the other people need to not be mad at me and try to make people not hang out with me because i never did it to you. thats it i have said my peace. so peace

to much on my plate

so here i am another night of a couple of drinks and to many cigarettes smoked. no love gained or lost but i am ok with that. the best part of the night was the free steak and shake i recieved from esteban just because im awesome. i work tomorrow at 4pm and i am dreading it but what im dreading more is the upcoming day that i wont have a job to hate. looking for a job sucks but i gotta do it. i gotta get on my grind. i have known for two weeks that my store is closing yet i have only put in 2 applications for jobs i dont want and i haven't finished my resume....fantastic eh. i have so many thoughts and big ideas about escaping wpb to see what the rest of the world has to offer me but right now the only thing that is certain is that i have to many bills to pay before i begin chasin anything especially dreams. i finally got my court papers taken care of and my bank account straightened out but i am still at a stand still. with credit card bills, student loan bills, tickets, other school bills and so many other things to pay with the reality of no job in the next month just makes me want an eight ball and a bottle of grey goose... but that will have to wait for now kids. tomorrow im going to meet the future mr.wrong in fort lauderdale, wish me luck...lol we all know im gonna meet fall in love have sex with and hate this man no matter what in 72 hours unless he tells me he can pay my bills and not be a douche at the same time because we all know my love is for sale. sad but true im not a hoe or a hooker im just someone that knows whats up and what i expect out of my life and if you dont fit in than good day. ok bitches till the day i meet the one to make me hang up my cha cha heels than im just gonna drink to much and dance like i dont give a damn because you know what i dont. i will spill tea for y'all tomorrow gnight