hello ladies and gentlemen, the hoe with the most is back. no i know i have been gone for a hot minute but i am here so dont fret my pets. we will spill tea and talk about everything from valentines day, pirana baby, losing my job, and st paddys day.
ok girls heres the dish. valentines day .. sucked i was without a valentine i saw the drug child out drinking like a fish just 3 days from the emergency room and one of my nearest and dearest had a meltdown over a lame boy whom i nearly despise because he is a creep. but the saving grace was seeing my love... jonathan. he was looking very cute like usual and he was fun flirty and fantastic three things that bring this boy to the yard. so i am looking forward to next year when i have a valentine of my own hopefully in another city or state or country i need out. lol
ok so i am 90% sure the date was february 28th when we were all blessed by the arrival of maeson olivia the bouncing baby girl that my close friend michelle had. she is the cutest little thing i have ever seen and i have seen a lot. she is very tiny and precious when she wants to be but i can tell she will be a diva... she will rip you to shreads if you refuse to give her the tit. that is how she earned her nickname of pirana baby. now being a man i cannot say that i would never do that cause it is not an option but being a gay man i know it hurts like hell if someone bites your nipple fyi so god bless breast feeding mothers. but for now the pirana baby eats sleeps poops and cries you will here more when she is more will friendly aka less breakable. and i cant wait to show her how to walk in heels lol.
ok so you know when something bad is coming up and you don't realize how bad its gonna be that is what losing your job feels like. especially if your liquidating it is a slow aganizingly painfull experience and i will it only on my worst enemies. so anyways im out of work i dont want to talk about it anymore. if you know of work opportunities even out of state or know a wealthy person looking for a houseboy let a bitch know. being jobless is craziness.
ok so here we come to the st.paddys day i decided one day wasnt enough for getting shitty so i did irishfest and st. paddys in downtown west palm. so saturday comes i have papa dukes drop me off around 2pm my friends are walking to meet me so i figure i need a beer while i wait, then i thought why one when i can have two. so i walk into the bookstore where they sell individual beers and get two of something i have never had it was good not great i walk out and here comes michelle, scott, pirana baby, and the dike aka T( she is my favorite lesbian companion) perfection. so i pour my beer into the provided solo cup and we walk to the fest about 2 hours later i have had 6 more beers and i bought a new shirt and pirana had a feeding frenzy so we walk with michelles parents to the main strip of downtown to show them the sites. we stop to change the baby i grab another beer and then it was me and the lesbo. we then went to my FAVORITE bar in west palm beach osheas. we had lunch and i had 2 more beers and we walked back to the fest where i had two more beers nothing much happened throughout this time so we parted ways . i got dropped off at home and 15 mins later anais picks me up to go to a house party we pick up beer and go to her lame bf's house i drink i think about 8 more beers we walk to the store and i buy more beer and have about 4 or 5 more. we are starving at this time and we went to get pizza at pizza lune best drunk pizza spot in wpb . all the douches were there from the surrounding bars and clubs with there drunk bitchy girls but we wait we eat and we go to get mike at osheas. we get to osheas mike has a full drink so we grab a beer we go out to the patio to people watch and i see a delicious man in the corner make a comment or ten i was pretty shitty to anais and lame ass bf spouts up saying that i need to be quiet cause theres no chance i could be with him anywho, in my head its gameover i chug the rest of my drink and walk away without saying a word and walk out the door and into a cab GOOD DAY. if i am somewhere i dont wanna be or around people i dont wanna be around im out i faked nice for like two days...never again.
ok so the real st. paddys day has to be better right ... kinda. my lovah and sally nearly die(a little dramatic) and i dont have a ride to the beer pong tournament i am playing with T. thank god michelle is an awesome friend she takes me to downtown and drops me off ...she was coming but it looked like rain and the pirana may make a run for it lol. so tournament supposed to start at 2pm i didnt through a ball till 330pm so i had time to pregame and that is what i did. so we make it to the third round and got beat by two dbags but it was a lot of fun anyways. then we walk to osheas and i have a carbomb and a shot and go to the publix and buy beer cause i ran out of cash and i wasnt leaving my card at an irish bar on st paddys. so we are sitting on a curb and drinking our beer that we bought at the grocery and that is basically the last thing i remember ... until jamie showed up but more about that later. the kicker is that our team name was rainbows are gay and so are we.......terrible lol love you bitches
ok girls heres the dish. valentines day .. sucked i was without a valentine i saw the drug child out drinking like a fish just 3 days from the emergency room and one of my nearest and dearest had a meltdown over a lame boy whom i nearly despise because he is a creep. but the saving grace was seeing my love... jonathan. he was looking very cute like usual and he was fun flirty and fantastic three things that bring this boy to the yard. so i am looking forward to next year when i have a valentine of my own hopefully in another city or state or country i need out. lol
ok so i am 90% sure the date was february 28th when we were all blessed by the arrival of maeson olivia the bouncing baby girl that my close friend michelle had. she is the cutest little thing i have ever seen and i have seen a lot. she is very tiny and precious when she wants to be but i can tell she will be a diva... she will rip you to shreads if you refuse to give her the tit. that is how she earned her nickname of pirana baby. now being a man i cannot say that i would never do that cause it is not an option but being a gay man i know it hurts like hell if someone bites your nipple fyi so god bless breast feeding mothers. but for now the pirana baby eats sleeps poops and cries you will here more when she is more will friendly aka less breakable. and i cant wait to show her how to walk in heels lol.
ok so you know when something bad is coming up and you don't realize how bad its gonna be that is what losing your job feels like. especially if your liquidating it is a slow aganizingly painfull experience and i will it only on my worst enemies. so anyways im out of work i dont want to talk about it anymore. if you know of work opportunities even out of state or know a wealthy person looking for a houseboy let a bitch know. being jobless is craziness.
ok so here we come to the st.paddys day i decided one day wasnt enough for getting shitty so i did irishfest and st. paddys in downtown west palm. so saturday comes i have papa dukes drop me off around 2pm my friends are walking to meet me so i figure i need a beer while i wait, then i thought why one when i can have two. so i walk into the bookstore where they sell individual beers and get two of something i have never had it was good not great i walk out and here comes michelle, scott, pirana baby, and the dike aka T( she is my favorite lesbian companion) perfection. so i pour my beer into the provided solo cup and we walk to the fest about 2 hours later i have had 6 more beers and i bought a new shirt and pirana had a feeding frenzy so we walk with michelles parents to the main strip of downtown to show them the sites. we stop to change the baby i grab another beer and then it was me and the lesbo. we then went to my FAVORITE bar in west palm beach osheas. we had lunch and i had 2 more beers and we walked back to the fest where i had two more beers nothing much happened throughout this time so we parted ways . i got dropped off at home and 15 mins later anais picks me up to go to a house party we pick up beer and go to her lame bf's house i drink i think about 8 more beers we walk to the store and i buy more beer and have about 4 or 5 more. we are starving at this time and we went to get pizza at pizza lune best drunk pizza spot in wpb . all the douches were there from the surrounding bars and clubs with there drunk bitchy girls but we wait we eat and we go to get mike at osheas. we get to osheas mike has a full drink so we grab a beer we go out to the patio to people watch and i see a delicious man in the corner make a comment or ten i was pretty shitty to anais and lame ass bf spouts up saying that i need to be quiet cause theres no chance i could be with him anywho, in my head its gameover i chug the rest of my drink and walk away without saying a word and walk out the door and into a cab GOOD DAY. if i am somewhere i dont wanna be or around people i dont wanna be around im out i faked nice for like two days...never again.
ok so the real st. paddys day has to be better right ... kinda. my lovah and sally nearly die(a little dramatic) and i dont have a ride to the beer pong tournament i am playing with T. thank god michelle is an awesome friend she takes me to downtown and drops me off ...she was coming but it looked like rain and the pirana may make a run for it lol. so tournament supposed to start at 2pm i didnt through a ball till 330pm so i had time to pregame and that is what i did. so we make it to the third round and got beat by two dbags but it was a lot of fun anyways. then we walk to osheas and i have a carbomb and a shot and go to the publix and buy beer cause i ran out of cash and i wasnt leaving my card at an irish bar on st paddys. so we are sitting on a curb and drinking our beer that we bought at the grocery and that is basically the last thing i remember ... until jamie showed up but more about that later. the kicker is that our team name was rainbows are gay and so are we.......terrible lol love you bitches
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